How Not To Look Like a Jerk While Wearing a Bluetooth

You love the convenience of your wireless earpiece, but you hate the way it makes you look. Here's how to avoid coming across like a total jackass.

You Will Need
A discreet Bluetooth headset
Electrical tape
A modicum of social decorum

Step 1: Choose a discreet earpiece
Choose a discreet earpiece. You don’t have to look like a Star Trek character anymore. Manufacturers now offer modestly designed earpieces, some of which are only an inch long.

Step 2: Cover up the blinking blue light
The single most annoying thing about wearing a Bluetooth is the blinking blue light that lets you know it’s on and lets everyone else know you’re a jerk. Use a piece of electrical tape to cover it up. If you’ve got long hair, consider brushing it over your Bluetooth ear to hide the device.

Step 3: Take it off
Wearing your earpiece in the car is fine, but take it off when you’re in public and not using it. Remember to remove it before entering a restaurant, meeting a date, or attending religious services. While driving, wear the earpiece in your left ear. It will let passing cars know that you’re on the phone and not talking to yourself like a crazy person.

Step 4: Avoid eye contact
If you must talk on your headset in a public place, avoid looking people in the eye. Bluetooths make it hard for others to tell whether you’re talking on the phone or to them, so don’t confuse things further by making eye contact.

Step 5: Keep it down
Use a normal conversational volume when talking in public. Yes, the mic is located way up by your ear, but Bluetooth headsets boast advanced sensitivity and noise-reduction technology. Keep your voice down, practice proper etiquette, and soon you’ll be able to wear your Bluetooth without shame. Or at least less shame.

Did You Know?

Australian performance artist Stelarc had surgery to implant a prosthetic Bluetooth-enabled ear into his arm.

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