Thursday, January 28, 2010

How To Make Your Coworkers Think You Have a Date on Valentine's Day

No date for Valentine’s Day? Put down the Rocky Road and listen up.

You Will Need:
Talent in the art of subterfuge
A hot new outfit
A heart-shaped box of Valentine’s Day chocolates

Step 1: Lay the groundwork
A few Mondays before Valentine’s Day, answer the standard, “How was your weekend?” with a broad smile and a sly, “It was wonderful.” Wear some rouge that day so you appear to be glowing and/or blushing.

Step 2: Blame it on love
Make a small error at work, call everyone’s attention to it, and dreamily say, “I guess my mind has been elsewhere lately.”

Step 3: Doodle “his” name
At staff meetings, doodle variations of your married name, like “Mrs. Annabelle Smith,” “Annabelle Jones-Smith,” and “Mr. and Mrs. Henry Smith.” Make the doodles large enough for people several seats over to see. If questioned about your blossoming romance, act coy and say you don’t want to kiss and tell.

Step 4: Feign phone calls
Arrange for your BFF to call you a few times a day so coworkers can overhear you cooing, “No, you hang up first. No, you. No you,” as you giggle girlishly.

Step 5: Dress up
Wear a sexy new outfit to work on February 14th. When colleagues ask where you’re going, say you’re really jazzed about trying the new Italian place downtown. No one will notice you haven’t actually said you’re going there.

Step 6: Share chocolate
The next workday, bring in a lavish heart-shaped box of chocolates with just a few pieces missing. Announce that you brought it in to share because you’re trying to watch your figure. Wait until the morning of February 15th to buy the chocolate, so you can get it at half price.

Step 7: Hint at a breakup
A few weeks later, arrive at the office sans makeup, looking sad. Thank everyone for their concern, but say you don’t want to talk about it. Enjoy the next day off, knowing everyone will be willing to cut heartbroken you some slack.

Did You Know?
There are 120 single men in their twenties for every 100 unattached women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

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"Fashion Is Foremost Inspiration"

Willie D

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